Friday, June 03, 2005


June 3rd, 1971

Carl Everett Born

Ok, this one is cheating a little bit, but Carl Everett was drafted on June 4th and I really can't wait another day to do "Crazy Carl." Everett was drafted by the Yankees in 1990, back in the days when the Yankees could draft, in a draft that included Jorge Posada (in the twenty-fourth round). Everett was left unprotected in the 1992 Expansion Draft for the Marlins and Rockies and drafted by the Marlins. Everett still believes the Yankees disrespected him and underestimated his talent (in fairness, he might be right on the second point, he's a pretty good player to have left unprotected) although he's developed something of a bizarre persecution complex about it, claiming "I never wanted to be drafted by [the Yankees]. There were people in that organization that didn't want me to succeed."

After a couple of forgettable cups of coffee with the Marlins,
Everett began to bounce around the league, usually doing something (and occasionally several somethings) stupid wherever he goes. A quick rundown is an odd collection: The Marlins felt compelled to trade him to the Mets after his 1994 campaign ended at Triple-A with a suspension for insubordination and lack of hustle that climaxed in a verbal confrontation with his manager. Playing winter ball while with the Mets, Everett managed to get him banned for life from the Venezuelan Winter League for going into the stands to attack fans who he claimed had thrown beer at him.

More seriously, also with the Mets, Everett and wife were arrested on charges of child abuse, after a Shea employee became concerned with the appearance of one of their children. A judge eventually ruled that Carl's wife was guilty of excessive corporal punishment while Everett himself did little to stop it. Carl's assertion of course is that this is all patently absurd--there's that persecution complex again--but it was serious enough for the judge to put one of the Everetts' children in the care of her maternal grandmother.

Everett was traded to Houston, and turned into a star, but was traded after an incident on the last day of the 1999 season. Dissatisfied with manager Larry Dierker’s line-up card—which gave him a day off—Everett marched into his manager’s office, ripped up the card, threw the pieces at Dierker and told him “make a new line-up,” an offer Dierker declined.

Traded to the Red Sox,
Everett continued to hit well, but also continued his insane act. Incensed on over umpire Ron Kulpa’s decision to require him to stand in the batter’s box—Everett also made a point of wiping out the front line and standing as close to the plate as possible—Everett threw a fit that resulted in his ejection. After the ejection, Everett bumped Kulpa several times, including one Hacksaw Jim Dugan style headbutt which resulted in a ten game suspension, a damaging blow to a team that couldn’t hit at all and needed all the stick they could get.

One final note on Everett, he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs. It's not that he’s simply a believer in Creationism (a reasonable albeit scientifically shaky belief) but he simply doesn’t believe in dinosaurs, at all. I’ll let Carl (from Sports Illustrated) take it himself at this point: “The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.” Except, you might say, in a museum. But Carl has an answer for that too, the dinosaur bones in museums, you see, are all fakes. Part of a worldwide paleontologist conspiracy. They don't call him "Crazy Carl" for nothing.

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